Self-centering and presence (05)
In this chapter, we will add a point of view about the very basic movement that we want to create and experience when we start practicing any form of meditation.
The assumption that defines the starting point is that we are so distracted, so unaware of the self, that we behave in automatic pilot. We react to whatever happens around us and inside us without choice, compulsively, without much control of the impact that we are creating in ourselves (in the form of suffering) and in the way we relate with others (in the form of conflict).
Then, by repeated practice, , we are able to overcome distractions and manage our attention “to be aware of the wholeness of the self in the present moment”. This big movement is depicted in this next drawing:
This is the reason why “meditation” and “mindfulness” are about practice, practice, and more practice with lots of patience. This is what I like to label openly as “the 4Ps of meditation”: p-ractice, p-ractice. p-ractice with p-atience.
It is in practice and only in practice where we transcend our myriad of “autopilot modes” and we can freely choose new ways of being and doing. Also, because it is only with repeated practice that the dynamics of neuroplasticity reconfigure our neural connections and consolidate the new that we are practicing in the structure and functioning of the brain.
But this movement only can happen if we are able to interrupt the “autopilot mode”, to stop and pause in such a way that we enter into choice.
At this point, a deeper utility of the three basic mindfulness practices reveals easily:
1. focused attention helps us maintain attention in breathing, where we choose it to be;
2. open attention helps us to open attention to multiple events and observe them simultaneously;
3. body scan helps us to include the body in our experience of being and doing.
In the same way, full training has an effect on our “meta-attention”. In a first phase, meta-attention manifests as the ability to self-observe our own experience of mind. With practice, meta-attention grows and expands into our body experience, into the action we take, and into the impact we generate.
When we reach this point, the power of pause and breath reveals itself as the key skill of “self-centering” This is how we begin to experience “presence”, that “noticing” of being fully in the here and in the now with the freedom to choose what could come next.
And it is only with repeated practice that this presence gets “embodied” (which is the same as saying that it is integrated into the body) and facilitates a much fuller and more harmonious life experience.
Self-centering is the key superpower that we need so as getting all the fruits that meditation will eventually bring. It is the skill to pause and breath in such a way that the following sequence occurs:
1. we enter into calm on demand,
2. we achieve greater clarity about what is going on
3. we can elaborate a better response than the reaction that otherwise would arrive from being in automatic pilot.
At this point, I find helpful to reflect also on the basics of self-centering of the upper triangle:
· master the use of attention and how to rest it on breathing in order to connect with the present moment. Recognizing sources of distraction (inside or outside) and regaining control of attention are key.
· state a simple and clear intention like “to be fully present” and stick to it. Although other simple intentions centered in the self (like “growing a better human being”, “healing from past injuries” or “stop worrying so much”) could also help, it is useful to avoid complex, goal-oriented intentions at this stage.
· practice a loving attitude, one that is open, with curiosity and kindness, without judgments. The loving grandma attitude, the archeologist-with-the-tiny-brush attitude, or the playful-dog attitude are great inspirations. Also, we like to describe it as the beginner’s mind. This is the most key element at this stage if you want to keep avoiding getting stuck and moving forward.
This expands our recognition that the full practice of mindfulness includes repeated training of the skeleton of the self by adding the ability of self-centering: to pause, to breath and to freely choose what is next.
Breathing is at the center of any mindfulness practice as it is at the center of all other meditation practices. However, breathing and its benefits rarely are in the spotlight when practicing mindfulness. It even could look like that any breathing helps.
But there are some better ways of breathing than others and breathing well will make a big difference. This is a generic recommendation for better breathing: breath slow, less, through the nose, with longer exhales and, when possible, breathholding between breath-in and breath-out. When it comes to time, the perfect breath has been theoretically set as 5.5 seconds breath-in followed by a 5.5 seconds breath out. Of course, receive these as orientations, not rules. There are plenty of variations. The key is to find a rhythm that better works for you.
A good way to explore deeper on breathing is the book “Breath. The new science of a lost art” by author James Nestor.
On the other hand, there are practices coming from other meditation traditions that put the spotlight back intro breathing as a foundational technique of self-centering. Pranayanas and singing mantras are old techniques. The “coherence breathing” by HeartMath Institute is a newer technique supported by new science and new technologies.
Repeated, sustained practice of self-centering is what will open the doors to a greater self-knowledge and a better self-management. Only with a repeated, sustained practice, we will be able to manage who we are and offer it to others in fullness, with respect and with responsibility.
When we talk about mindfulness, the key tools for self-centering are “attention” and “breathing”, so we say it is a “top-down approach” to build awareness of the self. In other forms of meditation, like yoga or conscious sexuality, the key tools could be better framed as “action” (like body positions or body massage) and “breathing”, so we say that these practices follow a “bottom-up approach.” Of course, any complete meditation practice will embrace and train self-centering to regain control of all the 5 elements of the skeleton of the self even when the starting point is different.
Next chapter: The path to consciousness (06)